This blog is a fusion of personal, work, and professional subjects taking the form of conversations that we might have had -- hence the name -- on so wide a variety of topics that it defies description.
Well unless Angry Birds happens to be
in his Game Play Rotation List that is!
The Most Dangerous Gamer (Comic)
by Nicole Wakelin on December 10, 2012
PREFACE
There has never been a better time to recover from lazy gamer syndrome or its counterpart - no-time-to-play-itus - than today. Now. Bear with me, all will become clear. But first we begin the lesson...
The Importance of Context
Contexts is wicked important. So are ideas like “logic” or
“expression” or even “thought” and “emotion” just to name
a few. One position on these matters can be found in the school of
Epistemology -- which is the philosophical science and discipline
under which we study and define how we know what we know - and the best
was to both communicate and illustrate those points.
At its most basic of definitions “Epistemology” is defined as the study of the nature and
scope of knowledge, as well as its justified belief and related
systems that extend from there. Epistemology analyzes the nature
of knowledge -- and how it relates to similar notions such as truth,
belief and justification -- and then defines those words and terms
and their meaning in useful ways, so that we can thus carry on
dialogue together.
The discipline also addresses our means
of production of knowledge, and skepticism about different claims
therein. I find this immensely appropriate and even poetic when I
consider the alternate worlds that I have most recently existed in,
and in particular that of the Japan and its northern-most island,
Hokkaido, in the world of Hitman (2016), and the world that exists
within the construct of the game “Thief” which was for all
practical intentions, created in the late 1990s and refined in 2014
but depicts an industrial-age society on some alien world.
Sure, those are fictional worlds - or
are they? I can tell you that at times they felt very real to me -
and in particular the moral codes that appear to have usurped that of
the courts and Common Law in them.
And the Darwinian approach to moral
justification - something akin to Python Law rather than Common Law -
when it comes to the significance of and importance for “getting
even” or revenge - two themes that play significant roles in both
of those manufactured worlds.
Despite the fact that humanity - let
alone an individual citizen from one of the many different tribes
that human call “nation-states” under which the species has been
divided -- often and under conditions of grave danger seek that sort
of satisfaction. I'm just saying.
To have meaningful exchanges about
these - and other - topics we all need to agree on the basic
foundation points like the actual meaning of phrases like “Retro
Games,” or “Game Play Rotation List(s)” and even “Modern
Gamer(s),” and what about “Preface?” That being so, for the
record as I write this I am working from the following foundation
points:
Retro Games =Any game that is
older than the current season - but can be a very old game too.
Game Play Rotation List(s) =Any
game title you play regularly but especially one you have yet to
complete to your satisfaction.
Modern Gamer(s) =Me. You. Any
gamer currently gaming even if they began their gaming career in the
1970s. As long as they are still gaming and doing it on modern
hardware, they are a Modern Gamer.
Preface =The bits that come
before the meat of the story.
See? That wasn't so difficult, now was
it?
The Meat Part
Moore's law is an observation made by
Gordon Moore back in the day that the number of transistors in a
dense integrated circuit doubles approximately every two years. His
observation turned out to be spot-on accurate, which is why they
named it after him. It probably didn't hurt that Gordon Moore was
also a co-founder of Fairchild Semiconductor and a little tech
company called Intel.
The paper that Moore wrote and
published in 1965 described the doubling - every year - in the number
of components per integrated circuit, and projected that the rate of
growth would continue for at least another decade - which turned out
to be a very conservative time estimate, hindsight being 20/20 and
all.
Borrowing from his experience I would
like to introduce to you:
Boots-Faubert's Law
So yeah, this is the paper I am writing
and publishing (well, article not so much as paper but still) that
history will draw upon to phrase what will become known as
Boots-Faubert's Law of Game Play Rotation - a simple law in gaming
that dictates that the typical Game Play Rotation List for a gamer
will double in size every 12 months as more games are added to the
list thanks to two basic principles:
(1) The wizards at game studios
continue to pump out games at a staggering rate, many of which are
classified as “must-play” titles; and
(2) The average gamer will not have
sufficient time in any given year to spend on completing these games,
which will cause a backlog of incomplete games (and games they never
got a chance to start playing in the first place) due to the lack of
sufficient time to play them all.
The reasoning for this has to do with
how big the video game industry has grown, and the fact that it
continues to grow, with new studios appearing practically every day.
2014
A good example of this trend and its
effect can be found in the year 2014. Bear in mind that a decade ago
the typical gaming season - which runs from September through May -
generally produced around six AAA titles in the “must-play”
category, and so was certainly within reach of the typical gamer.
Which was why we didn't really have Game Play Rotation Lists of the
sort we have now back then.
Fast forward to 2014 however, and the
situation has changed. Peruse this sampling of just the primary
“must-play” titles for that year:
2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil
Alien: Isolation
Assassin's Creed Rogue
Assassin's Creed Unity
Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate
Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel!
Bound by Flame
Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare
CastleStorm: Definitive Edition
Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2
Chariot
Child of Light
Dark Souls II
Defense Grid 2
Destiny
Diablo III: Ultimate Evil Edition
Dragon Age: Inquisition
Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Z
EA Sports UFC
The Elder Scrolls Online
Elite: Dangerous
Escape Dead Island
The Evil Within
Fable Anniversary
Far Cry
Fez
FIFA 15
Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn
Forza Horizon 2
Goat Simulator
Grand Theft Auto Online
Grand Theft Auto V
Guacamelee! Super Turbo Championship
Edition
Halo: The Master Chief Collection
Halo: Spartan Assault
Hearthstone: Heroes of Warcraft
How to Survive
Infamous: First Light
Infamous: Second Son
The Last of Us: Left Behind
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham
LEGO: The Hobbit
The LEGO Movie Videogame
Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII
LittleBigPlanet 3
Madden NFL 15
Mario Kart 8
Mario Golf: World Tour
Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes
Metro Redux
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor
Minecraft for X1 / PS4
MLB 14: The Show
NASCAR '14
NBA 2K15
Need for Speed Rivals: Complete Edition
Persona 4 Arena Ultimax
Pinball FX 2
Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare
Pokémon Battle Trozei
Pokémon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire
Risen 3: Titan Lords
The Sims 4
Skylanders: Trap Team
Sleeping Dogs: Definitive Edition
Sniper Elite III
South Park: The Stick of Truth
Sunset Overdrive
Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS
Terraria
Thief
Titanfall
Tomb Raider: Definitive Edition
Transformers: Rise of the Dark Spark
Tropico 5
Valiant Hearts: The Great War
The Walking Dead
Warriors Orochi 3 Ultimate
Watch_Dogs
The Wolf Among Us
Wolfenstein: The New Order
World of Tanks: Xbox 360 Edition
World of Warcraft: Warlords of Draenor
Worms Battlegrounds
WWE 2K15
While not every gamer is going to like
every genre - so there will be some selective removals depending on
personal choice, the list above contains 85 games! And it does not
help matters that some of those titles don't really include official
endings - particularly the MMOs.
Sure I could have summarized that list
- but then it would not have contained the gut-punching impact that
the full list contains. And if you think that is a lot of games to
be released in one year, consider the fact that that list only
presents the AAA games - there are three times that number of lesser
and niche titles released in 2014 as well.
This is why the average gamer's Game
Play Rotation List is going to continue to grow with each passing
season.
Another Problem
If you think that the paractical limits
that usually apply - like only being able to afford X number of games
in any given year - is helpful, consider this new problem: Microsoft
has started GIVING games away for FREE to members of Xbox LIVE Gold.
Consider it - today when I checked the
list of free Gold games - under the Game With Gold Program - I found
the following titles:
Ryse: Son of Rome
Evolve Ultimate Edition
Darksiders
So there you have three more titles I
want to play. I WANT to play mind you. But I guarantee you that I
won't have the time to fully play them to my satisfaction, so as sure
as Bob's Your Uncle those three titles will end up being added to my
Game Play Rotation List.
What's the Solution, Kenneth?
I don't know about you lot, but the
idea of my GPRL simply ballooning forever bothers me. There are
loads of entertainment withering there just waiting for me to play!
Fortunately I have a solution. I say
we set aside Sunday afternoon through early evening for ME time.
Game Time. We dedicate ourselves to removing titles from our GPRLs
by really digging into a game every Sunday. Set Sunday aside for
gaming! Free the Games! YEAH!
The iPhone 6 arrived via USPS on the afternoon of Tuesday, 18 November - which means I have had it for just under three days, and in that three days I have experienced much and have a lot to share... Most of it good.
First Impressions
I have to admit that my first reaction upon opening the box was an eye-goggled jaw-dropped whaaa?! The iPhone 6 Plus is HUGE. Until the moment that I actually held it in my hands I did not truly understand the commend that my colleague Walt Mossberg made when he referred to the device as a Phablet - part phone, part Tablet.
In almost every respect at least visually, the iPhone 6 Plus is indeed a Phablet. But it is also a device that does not suffer from the downside of the Tablet or, interestingly enough, the wireless phone either.
What I mean by that is that where I tend to find Tablets ungainly and uncomfortable to use as a phone, the 6 Plus is actually comfortable in the hands, and easy to use as a phone.
Note that while I was not aware that they had this feature until I actually experienced it - when you own an iPhone and an iPad, if both devices are turned on and logged into the same common WiFi network, when you receive a phone call on your iPhone it will forward the call to your iPad, so that you can take it there if that is more convenient.
And several times the iPad was closer to hand than the iPhone, and I took a few calls on it. Even with the phone call on speaker and the device held comfortably in the hands the act of receiving a phone call via the Tablet was, to be accurate, uncomfortable.
That may be partly because it is an unusual experience, and partly due to the fact that taking a call under those circumstances leaves one at the mercy of the ambient noise in whatever environment they happen to be in at the time. But either way, I don't recommend it.
A Question of Comfort?
While I had initial misgivings about opting for the iPhone 6 Plus once I experienced its over-sized footprint for myself, after just a few calls I have concluded that while there is a bit of getting used to to be experienced for me, personally, in the end I think I actually like the 6 Plus better than my old 4S.
Primarily I suspect that at least part of that inclination towards rapid acceptance is the fact that the 6 Plus is actually pretty close in terms of size to the sort of telephone handset I grew up using - that is to say the ear piece is just the right distance from the mic so that one is at the ear while the other is perfectly positioned before the lips.
Another strong factor for my ready acceptance is that we, as humans, tend to prefer what we know to something new. And my comfort levels were never put to the test, because as soon as I turned on and properly charged the 6 Plus - or I should say while I waited for the 6 Plus to fully charge as per the instructions - more than a few minor matters were being attended to invisibly and behind the scenes.
While the new iPhone was charging, as I had followed the instructions with which it arrived and fully activated the device, adding my local WiFi security data, and authorizing the phone as my primary for both wireless service and iTunes, the following took place without my having to think about or actively manage them:
Contacts - the phone automatically - or perhaps automagically is a better phrase - reached out to the Cloud and grabbed my Contacts data and saved it to the new device. In consequence of this, when I reached for the phone to make a call for the first time, rather than needing to look a number up on my old (and no longer connected to AT&T) device, the full Contacts were already present, so it was business as usual!
Weather and Other Data - while the phone did ask me to verify that I was, in fact, authorizing it to use my current location and the built-in location tracking features with which it comes as a standard feature - once I confirmed my permission for those, the new phone acted precisely as if it had been doing these things for me all along - or like my old phone basically.
Messages and Text - the conversations and the new additions to the same - for my ongoing set of personal and business interactions were simply there. No need for me to seek them out; it was as if the phone knew what was important to me and made sure that that information and its associated data made the switch with my details, everything intact.
Important Dates and Appointments - all of the appointments on my calendar as well as the set of important dates that I had punched into my information management and productivity system three iPhones ago were just... There.
Images, Videos, and Backgrounds - all thanks to the Cloud present and accounted for.
The Apps I Use - note that I make a specific distinction here between the Apps that I actually use and the ones that happen to be on my phone because I had not gotten around to deleting them - and hey, the ones I actually used made the switch with me, without prompting, while the ones I did not - did not.
The important point to take away from all this is that I was not expecting it to be that easy. In fact I was expecting to have to address and deal with all of this on my own, inconveniently, and over time.
The fact that none of that ended up being necessary is down to the genius of whoever came up with the programs that kick in when you upgrade phones. Good on them! Well done!
Second Impressions
Perhaps the most obvious point not in favor of this new and larger iPhone is the fact that pretty much all of the kit - with the exception of any Bluetooth kit - no longer works with my phone.
What that means is that some of it will have to be replaced. In particular I will need to spend the time and the effort to seek out a MilSpec graded protective case for this bugger. I will need to seek out and obtain a docking station for it because I use that particular connectivity convenience often in order to keep my phone and my notebook computer in-synch.
Having pointed that out though, it was very nice to be able to connect my earpiece and my over-the-ears headphones so that I could continue to use the stuff I am comfortable with and use often.
Big(ger) Screen Baby!
It is not that I am getting old, or that I have eyesight issues - but as one of the beats that I cover as a writer happens to be games journalism, and as mobile app/games play a significant part in that work that I do, the larger screen on the 6 Plus is a bloody beautiful thing.
Mark this down under the category of "you don't know what you are missing because you didn't know what you were missing" - but due to the manner in which mobile app/games of the city-building and grinder persuasion are built and played, it has been necessary for me to maintain multiple accounts and game sessions using different devices and log-ins.
I do that so that I can interact between the accounts using the multi-player side of the game play mechanics built into these games as a matter of convenience. The increased screen size on the 6 Plus is so much bigger that I have not had a single missed - or incorrect - tap since I started using it!
That is a big deal, let me tell you. Especially when you are playing a game like The Simpsons: Tapped Out in which you are making hundreds of taps and swipes in a single session!
So there you have it - in my opinion, for what that is worth - I find the new iPhone to be a major and easily experienced improvement over the iPhone 4S. I suspect it is also an improvement over the iPhone 5 (all models) though having not used that generation at all, I really can't say with the sort of authoritative voice I usually use.
Keep an eye out for follow-on posts about this because I suspect, as I continue to use the 6 Plus, I will find other aspects and elements that I feel are worthy of comment. And I shan't be shy in sharing those with you, I promise!
The Internet -- and the World Wide
Web specifically -- has radically altered the world of the freelance
writer. To the detriment of that profession.
Obvious changes -- perhaps the
single greatest change -- can be found in the alteration of the
basic and formal elements of communication.
Our attention and consideration
turns to this -- particularly to a relaxing of the barriers that once
existed between the writer and his audience and even more
significant, correspondence between the writer and editor.
It is, naturally enough, through
that process that the traditional relationship and its potential,
good or bad, is still formed.
As a point of fact and, in the
interest of transparency between writer and audience, you should know
that this entire piece was prompted by and flavored with impressions
formed in reflection -- and the contents of a daydream -- both of
which were entirely prompted by a number of email messages received
that are in every sense of the notion a modern interpretation of the
word “correspondence.”
It is certainly draped in a
critical analysis of the necessary vehicle by which modern
relationships are established; that is to say, through which they
might mature, and along the way strengthen into something greater.
Clearly -- and to its detriment --
the now instant communication found in email eschews a threshold of
art and reason where, in place of a previously formal process, is now
replaced with the most informal of protocols: empty pleasantries void
of emotion, sincerity, or meaning.
It is fair to say that today this
entire process begins and ends with ideas of a formal structure where
no such structure actually exists.
The privilege to build upon an
initial meeting -- as part of the process by which a relationship is
formed -- and to share in a gradual strengthening via what should be
a safe avenue of pen and paper, has instead morphed into a risky
highway of fast-moving electronic messages.
The result of “progress” is the
stripping away of the real-world, first replaced with phone calls and
written correspondence, finally replaced by an alchemy obtained
through mutually glimpsed still images on personal and professional
web pages augmented by all too brief and largely meaningless email
exchanges.
This then has become the exclusive
media through which information and ideas are now exchanged; identity
that can only be verified by the presence of an “@” and the
certainty of blind faith.
All of the above has replaced the
smile, the handshake, small talk, and any sense at all of who it is
that you are actually speaking with.
I don't own a formal business suit!
The last time I needed to have a tailor measure and fit one was in
1994 and the last time that I wore it was for a meeting with a new
editor that took place in 2005.
That sort of meeting, these days,
can be attended naked or, if in mixed company, in sweats and a
T-shirt since it is now commonly taking place online via a VOIP
session.
Can you imagine any circumstances
under the present state of the industry in which the provocation of
Franklin and his unusually well-informed if not wise Silence Dogood
faces any risk at all of being discovered? I can't.
The plain-jane look and feel of iOS6 really stands out when it directly compared to the new OS
While other regions received the newest version of Apple's mobile device Operating System (iOS7) before we did, when the upgrade/update became available this past week I went ahead and applied it -- first to my iPhone (I use an iPhone 4S these days) and then, later, to the iPad that I have because of work requirements.
In both instances the upgrade process was smooth and trouble-free -- at least with respect to the OS and the Apple mobile devices. I cannot say that there were not a few bumps in the road because there were, with the most notable being caused by changes to an app that I use daily for the Audible Book and Entertainment system (audio books basically).
It seems that Audible is now owned by Amazon -- I think I actually knew that before now, but it was one of those facts that is read, tucked away, and forgotten rather quickly in my case.
The process of upgrading the OS for my iPhone meant that I was logged out of ALL of the active apps on the device -- including the Audible client which is always running in the background because I really do use it on a regular basis thanks to a very large library of Audio Books that I own having been a member of that service since 1998...
Well that and I am trying to learn Spanish on my own via a neat audio book series called Spanish in the Car.
When I went to log back into Audible after the update to the new OS my password did not work.
It turns out that the Audible client (and website) has been switched over to use the accounts and login information for Amazon rather than its own account system, and I did now know the password for my Amazon account because I have not used it in years.
Long story short? I ended up needing to ring up support and have them reset the password for me.
But really if you think about it, I upgraded the Operating System on both my mobile phone AND the tablet I use for work and the only problem that I faced was a password reset for an unrelated app...
That is way beyond "pretty good" compared to previous experiences with the process way back in the day, I am just saying...
The visual changes to the OS are one of its more obvious -- and striking -- changes, and speaking for myself I found them to be a very pleasing and welcome feature for a new OS that includes a plethora of added features and is much easier to use. If this actually cost money it would probably be worth the price of admission.
"I Don't Like Change"
Because one of my day jobs is being a columnist for the Business and Tech Section of the Cape Cod Times, I was not surprised to receive an invitation last month to download a pre-release version of the new OS early.
The email came from one of the public relations agencies that represents Apple, and basically it offered me the option of getting the OS installed on my devices early.
If I had actually been assigned to review it or write about the OS, an early install would have been just the thing for me but, as that was not the case, I obtained my copy of the new OS just like everyone else did when it was released to our region
While the conversion to iOS7 was painless and quick for me, the same cannot be said for my kids, who -- while they did succeed in the transition -- both emerged from the experience feeling an intense dislike for iOS7.
"I don't like change," my daughter announced. "Particularly when the changes make me have to learn how to use my phone all over again! This is not good!"
That was how my daughter announced her take on iOS7, having marched into our living room to declare her personal experience in the upgrade process having been completed.
The changes that she was referring to -- the method by which the user ensures that the app or program on their device is no longer using resources or memory happens to be one of the changes that I viewed as an improvement.
The direct result of this is that I found myself more actively engaged in the conversation than might have otherwise been the case.
It turned out that her reasoning was much more complex and covered other aspects of the new OS.
It was not simply a gut-reaction in other words, and as it turned out she had well-thought-out and logical arguments that supported her opinion. Good for Autumn!
Two of the users of iOS tech in our home: My daughter Autumn makes extensive use of both her iPhone and iPad, while her pet kittens Abaddon and Beelzebub are invariably the target of its built-in camera and audio recording capabilities as she likes to take snaps and short videos of the cuteness that they are and do in order to share them with her mates online.
Practical? Yeah, Pretty Much
My kids are pretty smart even if it is their Dad saying so, and as we
discussed the issues and as I made a mental note of that fact, I
naturally began to tally up the various reasons behind my own more than
favorable opinion of the new OS, because I could easily see myself
writing this blog entry.
Where my daughter disliked iOS7 based upon subjective arguments and a noted dislike for change, the reasoning behind my son's condemnation of iOS7 came from an entirely different direction indded.
"It occurs to me that a lot of the superficial changes that were made to the OS were made just because they could. Change for the sake of change," my son Peter says.
"On the positive side of the scales the implementation of the mini-control panel is pretty brilliant," Peter allowed. Coming from him that is high praise indeed; Peter is not very free with praise and the concept of hyperbole is not something that he is either comfortable with nor likely to indulge in even if he were.
The new feature that he is referring to is the new control panel that has been built into the interface at the bottom, and which is accessible even while playing a game or using an app that has full control over the screen.
The New Instant Control Panel
When you run your finger along the bottom edge of the screen a tab appears, and when you swipe in a generally upward direction on that tab you open a new control panel with icons on either side for pretty much ALL of the basic elements for the device.
Depending upon the orientation when you activate the function (whether you are using your phone's screen in landscape or portrait orientation basically) the buttons / icons will be splashed top and bottom or along the left and right sides.
The Control Panel offers you one-tap On and Off control for the following:
Airplane Mode
WiFi
Bluetooth
Do Not Disturb
Portrait Orientation Lock
on the left side or top edge of the panel.
Flashlight
Timer Controls (Opens the Timer Menu)
Calculator (Opens the Calculator App)
Camera Button (Opens the Camera View)
along the right-hand side or bottom edge of the panel.
In the center of the new Control Panel is perhaps the most useful and best controls - being from top to bottom the following:
(1) Screen Birghtness Slider
(2) Rewind / Play or Stop / Fast Forward Controls
(3) Volume Control Slider
Seriously, these all may appear on their face to be intuitive and, well, the word "Obvious" springs to mind -- but there you have it!
Here is a control panel for the most common features of the device, and you wonder why they only just now got around to adding it into the device?!
Observers of what is still widely considered to be the "new" and "struggling" sans-Jobs-Apple consider the process of revealing the features of the new OS to be a critical element in how the company will present itself not just to the public but to investors. There is no argument that Jobs was the creative spark that revived Apple and transformed it back into the force to be reckoned with that it had previously been. But where it will go now is anybody's guess...
The Improved Topside Menu and Interface
While we are used to seeing that same effect when it comes to swiping the top edge of the screen on our iPhones -- with iOS7 when you swipe down from the top edge of the screen you now get an improved menu within which you will find time and date based information, with the very top consisting of a set of tabs reading "Today" "All" and "Missed" that serves to organize the events they contain.
Under the "Today" tab you have the date, weather conditions and high temperature as the default, along with the display of whatever the scheduled activities are for today and right now.
A list of "Events" for the day appears in the bottom section, and when you swipe to the right you get the display for the second tab which is labeled "ALL" and which contains a summary of the recent events that you have undertaken on your phone or which your phone is keeping track of...
The final tab -- labeled "MISSED" -- contains a detailed listing of the things you failed to do, from answering a phone call to attending a meeting, and I am sure that there are other things it tracks and tells you about, I just somehow managed to not do things that would cause the phone to get uspet.
Go me!
What it all means?
We could probably spend the rest of the day discussing all of the different things that iOS7 can do and how it makes your mobile device so much better, trotting out all of the good things that have changed on it. Seriously.
I actually sat down and made lists of the changes, lists of the improvements, and eventually, lists of the lists I was making!
But in the end I realized that what iOS7 is (and this may shock you) is the results of some engineer somewhere at Apple sitting down and making their own list of all of the suggestions that users of Apple's mobile product lines have sent in over the course of the past three decades, and then maybe making a list of all of the common and utility type aspects that THEY wish were present...
And then implementing it all.
I have decided to rename the iOS7 update. Heretoforward it shall now be known as:
iOS7 - The Common Sense Update
That is all. You can go back to your games and work now.
If I remember correctly, the first time
that I saw the phrase “Ghost in the Machine” it was on the TV in
my flat, being the name of one of the episodes in the Inspector Morse
TV series which I liked rather a lot...
But then I have always loved BritFic
Detective stories - don't get me started because I have a long list
of shows that I positively enjoy, starting with A Touch of Frost,
which is of course based upon the Frost novels by R.D. Wingfield, and
I tell you getting David Jason to play Detective Inspector William
Edward "Jack" Frost was bloody brill!
Second on my list of all-time greatest
BritFic Detective Shows would be the Midsomer Murders series, which are based on the books by
Caroline Graham. I have to admit though that I was very unhappy when
Detective Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby (John Nettles) was replaced by
his so-called cousin DCI John Barnaby (Neil Dudgeon) the wanker...
Third would be Cracker, which is set in
Manchester, and tells the story of Dr Edward "Fitz"
Fitzgerald (Robbie Coltrane), and its focus in addition to the crime
in each episode is centered on the very human foibles of Eddie Fitz - who is both a criminal psychologist (or "cracker") and a flawed human being - but hey, I cannot watch that show without the little
voice in my head jumping up and down and screaming IT'S HAGRID!
THAT'S HAGRID! HAGRID!
I can't help thinking - IT's HAGRID!
Coming in at Number Four (but a close
tie with No. 3) is Van der Valk -- whose protagonist is Dutch
Detective Commissaris "Piet" (real name Simon) van der Valk
totally reminds me of my father-in-law who is also named Piet and is
Dutch but hey, he was not a detective...
The Inspector Morse shows are next, and
Morse is of course based upon the series of novels by Colin Dexter. The often visceral story of Detective Inspector -- later
Chief Inspector -- Morse (John Thaw) always unfolds with intense mystery which you have to like. Plus there are over 30 episodes
and they are more like movie-of-the-week than a TV show as every
episode involves a new murder investigation featuring several guest
stars, and are 2-hours long...
Let me tell you the one thing that I
learned from watching these shows - the region of England that is
called “The Midlands” is a dangerous place! You want to avoid
that part of the UK like the plague, stay away! People DIE there! A
lot!
But this is not about BritFix Detective shows, is it? No... Where was I? Oh yeah!
So later I learned that the person widely credited with coining the phrase is British philosopher Gilbert Ryle (19 August 1900 – 6
October 1976) - and he was quoted by Arthur Koestler, who used it as the title to his 1967 book “The Ghost in the Machine.”
That book was assigned as required reading by the professor who taught one of the
philosophy courses that I took at uni - bearing in mind that the book
turned out to be about philosophical psychology and not, as I
initially hoped, about a haunted car.
But still I learned a lot from it, which is probably why when I got an email last Friday from one of the gamers who it turns out is a fan of the video game guides and walkthroughs that I write for SuperCheats - who sincerely asked me how it was that I got my Xbox 360 to write its own blog?
It had to be said...
A real Whaaaaaaaa? Moment
So yeah, I confess, reading that email the first time was a real Whaaaaaaa?! moment for me... I can usually hit the ground running on the first try - figuratively speaking that is - but I actually had to pause, deer-in-headlights - and think about what I was being asked for a moment. And if there really had been headlights, well, I paused good and long, so we are talking SPLAT! here.
But I eventually connected the dots and realized that he was referring to the "Recnef's Xbox 360 Blog" which I have a link to off of my home page in the Blog Section and which, I extrapolate, the young man found there, followed, and read -- and went away from the experience somehow convinced that it was a real blog written by my game console(?!).
Recnef's Xbox 360 Blog
While this blog states that it is in fact written by my Xbox 360, in reality it is the machine-generated psuedo-blog created by the website 360voice.com that uses a selection of pre-scripted commentary and the monitored activities of your game console to create an amusing if actually rather scary blog that appears to be written from the point-of-view of the Xbox 360.
A sample entry that is most amusing reads:
Recnef's Xbox - Aug 23 2013
I had to set aside my plans for world
domination yesterday when Recnef decided to game. Our score is
127,365 and always improving! That is an improvement of 50 points
over last time! He rocked out to Gears of War: Judgment adding 4
achievements, and afterwards, there were some awkward stares and
silence... you know how it is.
If you read the blog regularly you will see some of the lines repeated, particularly the humor-laced observations that the "Xbox" makes and its rather possessive (one is tempted to say possessed) attitude and jealous nature...
But that is the entire point of the site and its humor... Under that humor though is a fairly useful set of services that among other things keeps track of your game play activities and provides a breakdown of your Achievement progress in the different games you play.
In addition to the daily summary the site also has a weekly summary that sort of collects all of the data from the week but delivers it in character - here is my last one:
Recnef's Weekly Recap - Aug 26 2013
This entry is a little different than
the others. It is a recap of the last week of gaming. Check it: So
yeah... Last week Recnef showed up 4 days total and logged some
serious gaming. We added 190 points of gamerscore which ain't too
shabby. Getting 13 achievements can do that to you. I was there. I
saw it! Oh, and from what I remember, Recnef's favorite game last
week was Gears of War: Judgment. He played it on 4 of the days.
So there you have it... Check back next
week for another report from yours truly.
Like I said, it delivers it in character, but as I read it having been prompted to do so by that email I had to wonder if the person who emailed me was taking the piss out of me or what? I suppose it is funny either way, but I wanted to know...
As it turned out - which I learned from emailing him back - he is 10 years old and actually thought that I had somehow managed to get my Xbox 360 to acquire Artificial Intelligence. And he was so genuinely disappointed that it was NOT my console writing the blog that I almost felt like I should email his mom and have her give the bugger a hug, he was that sad over it.
Last year when Disney Studios added the newest epic animated feature film “Brave” to their stable of girl-focused and romantic animated epic motion pictures, the film was released to theaters to a very wide embrace by fans of the studio, and it ended up being one of the (on average) three films I saw that year in a theater.
This post is actually about Brave, but before I can address my points in that area, I have to digress into a completely unrelated set of thoughts and observations because that is how I roll. You, the reader, are encouraged to read this digression largely because you might enjoy reading it but mostly because I asked you nicely and I spelled all the words correctly.
Another point in favor of you actually reading all of this instead of just skipping ahead to the bits about Brave would have to include the fact that I have made considerable efforts at being amusing while at the same time keeping the threads of this post and its observations on-topic, and that my Nanna would very much appreciate you reading it. Just saying...
Film Viewing Habits of the Australian-American and Parenthood
My altered film viewing habit is an interesting (to me) statistical anomaly that may very well be one of the prime markers of old age and change - largely because it represents a major alteration of lifestyle.
In my salad days it was not uncommon for me to take in fifty or more movies a year at theaters, but now three is actually on the high-end of the statistic. Film has always been a weekend passion for me and especially good film, though I found after having children my willingness to tolerate bad film had somehow and without warning evaporated.
In fact my newly noted inability (or perhaps unwillingness?) to tolerate this sort of thing has altered my own personal entertainment patterns to the point that, it has partially redefined what I consider to be acceptable and polite behavior. This is particularly true as it applies to my interaction with tradesmen and managers at service-providing institutions.
A perfect example of this change can be found in instances where I find myself sitting in a theater and the film turns bad; the previous incarnation of me would have tolerated the badness, even looking for something good in order to replace that bad opinion.
The present-day incarnation of me is a lot less likely to seek out the good in the bad. In fact I am very likely to calmly retreat to the box office and insist that they return my money for the ticket AND provide me with a sincere apology for selling me said ticket!
This reaction is, I suspect, largely prompted by my growing acceptance that life is short and, for me, growing increasingly shorter, and that being the case when I am confronted with substandard or what I personally feel are unacceptable standards, such as the clearly flawed and inadequate efforts on the part of everyone involved in creating the complex series of events that resulted in my purchasing a ticket to a movie called "Bring It On" for the massive amount of $12.50 that, while I could get the ticket cost refunded, still left the matter of the 35 minutes I spent watching it in the theater which I could not get refunded to me.
My best mate Geof says this new behavior is a manifestation of the snobbery with which I was raised - an observation that may appear on its face to be an insult but which, I can assure you, was actually intended as a compliment.
The proof is in the pudding, and in this case the pudding is that when Geof is contemplating viewing a movie he often will text or ring me to ask if I have seen it first, and if so, what did I think of it?
Geof believes that my opinion has distinct value. He feels that it serves as an assessment that is far more reliable than the commercial efforts of movie reviewers both online and in print in other words. You hear that Mister Boston Globe Managing Editor?! “Distinct Value!”
The Changing Measure of Tolerance
As I aged and began the complicated process of procreation - which I define as a planned team effort between my wife and I in which I pretty much did all of the heavy lifting - it all comes down to the vanishing of my previous willingness to seek out reasons to be pleased by that and other social experiences.
I don't want to fluff-over the whole having kids thing like most adults of my generation tend to do, because it was not the simple practically automated experience it is often presented as. I can assure you that a lot of serious effort when into creating our children!
Being a parent is complicated
There was the planning out of the genetic markers to be passed on; sculpting of physical appearance and other important traits; allocating brain structure components to ensure spectacular results in the areas of memory, learning retention, hand-eye coordination, and the many other complicated elements that are absolutely required when your aim is to create brilliant children.
When you consider that most of the actual engineering that went into the design and creation of my son and daughter took place at night, with no safety nets, no OSHA supervision, utilizing the sort of focus and concentration not to mention patience that is normally only found in Pokemon Games, and you cap that off with the observation that almost all of the work took place in an environment that was hot, sweaty, tightly enclosed and noisy (when we were doing it right anyway), I am confident that you will easily appreciate the effort and self-discipline that was required to obtain the favorable results that we did, and for which I take nearly full credit.
Since you understand the care and effort that was taken in actually creating the children, the ongoing concern that we have and the responsibility we have accepted in providing them with a proper upbringing and education, including passing on proper moral values should not come as much of a surprise, right?
Modern Parenthood
There is an easily defined division in society when you reach this point in the circle-of-life; it rapidly and automatically sorts the good from the bad and you quickly discover who is a good parent and who is not.
The simple definitions are almost always the best, and in simple terms there are the 10% of parents we all know we are part of that do an excellent job of creating and raising their children, and then there is the remaining 90% that is made up of everyone else - basically they being couples who are destined to take up their ignoble place as follows:
The Victims of Parenthood - this class consists of 70% of the remainder, widely perceived as casual parents of the sort that get the job done with noted success. There is nothing wrong with this group or this segment of society!
In fact the legitimate case can be made that while the previously mentioned 10% from which our own children are placed represents the grease that keeps the world and our society functioning, this even more important 70% arguably represent the cogs, gears, dust bins, conveyor belts, and other machinery with which society simply cannot function lacking.
Besides that, just where do you think all of the support personnel sourced for everything from corporate culture to the military comes from? India?
Well, alright you have me there; a significant percentage do in fact come from India, but that is not the point; the point is the answer to the following very crucial question: If they did not exist, would YOU want to do their job?
Ozzy Osbourne (left) and wife Sharon (right) - with first wife Thelma Riley Ozzy is dad to Jessica Starshine Osbourne Hobbs (1972) and Louis John Osbourne (1975), and adopted dad to her son Elliot Kingsley (1966). With second wife Sharon (pictured), Ozzy is dad to Aimee (1983), Kelly (1984) and Jack (1985).
Joking aside, for most couples family comes first - or it should. Especially if you are a rock star. Just saying...
The 50K Volt Cattle Prod
The Fifteen Minutes Brigade - the remaining 20% of parents who provide their society with the literal momentum to move forward in the form of crucial elements of offspring who help reinforce and define the meaning behind the expression “15 Minutes of Fame” while at the same time offer us the badly needed examples with which are formed the moral values and fears of our own children (Go to bed now or the Smith boy will climb through the window and slice off your thumbs!) and how was that for a really good run-on sentence?
Before you throw down your computer and declare “That bloke is doing nothing but repeat stereotypes and it is all utter nonsense!” consider this: if you throw down your computer it will probably get broken! But I see your point.
The 20% in all of its many subsets really does do a lot for our culture and for the society of the world. Or is that world society? I get the two confused; I know that they both mean different things, but there you have it.
The important thing for you to understand is that this remaining 20% is clearly divided into smaller groupings that range from the far-left to the far-right and all that exists in-between on the moral spectrum.
Portions of that divided population being very valuable to society (some might even argue that they are crucial considering that one of the smaller elements measuring less than half of 1% is the group from which Presidents spring), this and other factors are thought to be behind the unilateral justification for the unspoken support for which this group is clearly provided by society in general.
To be clear here, this is the grouping made up from the parents of the children who are absolutely
necessary - one is tempted to say critically important - to the ongoing battle against boredom in western culture and society.
They are the segment of society from which politicians, actors and actresses, law enforcement, musicians and singers - in fact entertainers of all types - and in particular from which talk show hosts and other role models spring forth! It is therefore a worthy effort and one we can feel if not proud, than at least not ashamed, for supporting in its fullness.
One very good example of our continuing support for the 20% is the Rhodes Scholarships (and the slightly less well-known but no less important Marshall Scholarships) that are largely responsible for ensuring that the temper tantrum popularly known as the American Revolution did not result in the permanent loss of the exchange of popular-culture to the point that Americans are unable to appreciate British Humor.
There are other awards, prizes, efforts, subsidies, make-work programs (Congress anyone?) and the like but we need to get off the train at this stop because the rambling digression that this post has become actually ended up somehow taking the right train and thus has resulted in our arriving in about as close to the address we wanted in this neighborhood anyway, so here we go!
The Disney Effect
When Brave was released my daughter was still 14-years-old, but more important, she was still on the side of 14-years-old that retains that innocent and wide-eyed view of the world that happens to be just about the best thing about being a 14-year-old that there is.
That being the case, taking the family to see Brave not only made perfect sense, but it also provided what has to be the best opportunity to expose a still formative 14-year-old to a strong but positive female role-model -- well, OK, technically that would be a strong but positive ANIMATED female role model in a film, but still, you get the idea.
Now here is the thing... I knew that the character of Merida in the film was a strong and positive female lead character and, hey, let us be honest, a HERO of a female lead role and character.
I also knew that with the exception of Lara Croft (pictured left and whose role in the most recent prequel, though a bit on the breathy side, was still WAY better than how she was portrayed in the first game in the series) there are so few primary and lead characters in film OR in games that are both positive AND happen to present the character with both a realistic body type and the sort of emotional flaws that are often found in general in the human population, that no matter how you sliced it Merida was a good role model.
Not that I wanted my daughter to be running around the woods behind our house with a bow and bunch of lethal arrows looking for a werewolf to slay or anything...
The thing is I really and genuinely liked and admired the character of Merida - who is played and voiced by the Scottish actress Kelly Macdonald. You might recognize her from some of her other roles, but I mostly know her as the second-cousin of my mother-in-law, and for her appearance in a variety of interesting roles in film and on TV.
For example she played the character of Helena Ravenclaw (aka the Grey Lady or the Ghost of Ravenclaw) in the Harry Potter films, and she was Carla Jean Moss in the film No Country for Old Men which I liked a lot but mostly because Tommy Lee Jones is one of my favorite actors.
She was Evangeline in Nanny McPhee, Diane in Trainspotting, Mary Maceachran in Gosford Park, and Kelly Drummond in the film In the Electric Mist, but the role for which most American movie and TV viewers are the most likely to recognize her voice from would have to be that of Margaret Thompson in the Sopranos-influenced epic mob/OC tale Boardwalk Empire.
Before you even think of going there, I freely admit that yes, it did happen.
When Brave started and we began to become immersed in the characters that were being presented and introduced to us on screen as the voice of Merida narrated I experienced an inappropriate mental vision - a fleshy snippet if you will - of an attractive and well-endowed but very nude young woman standing in the middle of a dress shop surrounded by couture that was decidedly of the 1920's era.
That was it - there was nothing blue about it - and while I knew that this was a memory of something that I had actually seen somewhere, I could not place from where.
At first I thought maybe I was seeing someone who sounded like Merida, but clearly not, and as I was not aware of who the actress was who was voicing the character on the screen (I would have made the connection instantly if I had known) I was at a loss to explain it. So I leaned in and whispered to my wife “Does her voice sound familiar to you?”
Nucky and Peggy from Boardwalk Empire - the voice caused great confusion for me.
Yvonne gave me her patented and secret Pirate Smirk which is itself too cute for words (you have to see it to understand but it is a very endearing expression that never fails to cause my heart to race) and she says to me: “Can't get the naked girl out of your mind?”
Right, let me explain something first... My wife knows me. She knows me well. She knows me better than any other human on the planet, including my mother. To my wife I am an open book of well-worn if dog-eared pages. Emotionally I may as well be a DNA printout, because that is how well she knows me. But this? This was too much.
As convinced as I was that she knew me, I really sincerely did not think she knew me THAT well, and I freely admit that for the briefest of moments I was absolutely convinced that my wife was somehow able to read my mind.
“Ahrrrrr?” I said.
“Shh!” my daughter Autumn hushed.
“There is a special place in Hell for people who talk in movie theaters,” my son Peter cautioned.
“It's Nucky's wife Chris,” Yvonne whispered back.
“Nucky's wife is not named Chris, her name is Margaret,” I replied.
“No, you're Chris!” Yvonne said in exasperated whisper.
“Shhhhh!” Autumn hushed.
It finally clicked into place for a Kodak Moment...
The reason I was seeing that naked girl was because that naked girl was now the ginger-haired heroine on the screen. Her voice was triggering the memories, and the disturbing bit was I had not been able to make the connection.
Now the connection was made the mystery was solved, and I could go back to enjoying the story. But then I mentally paused to consider something.
“How do you know I wasn't seeing an image of her with Nucky in a pink dress in a restaurant?” I asked.
“Shh!” Autumn hushed.
A Positive Role Model
The character of Merida - if you have not yet seen the animated motion picture Brave from Disney - is that of a teenaged young Princess.
This sort of Princess...
Not the Princess Di sort of Princess mind you, more like the two girls from the mini-series A Game of Thrones sort, being that she is a member of the ruling family of a small mountain holding (actually there are a lot of similarities to AGoT if you think about it, and I was).
She was innocence and light and coincidentally also happened to be on that side of fourteen I was previously hinting about; the side of fourteen my daughter was at when we were seeing Brave.
It is a fleeting all-too-brief period in which the young girl has an imperfect understanding of the world and how they relate to it yet retains the wide-eyed innocence that when combined with a wide-ranging optimism and the notion that life, whatever life means, is wide open and full of opportunities for them.
Oh sure, life will beat that out of them pretty quick once they get past High School and enter University, but hey I am one of those fathers who thinks that we should nurture that outlook for as long as we can, so providing a role model - even an animated role model - of a girl who has a genuine girlishness about her, and who was not carved with a surgeon's blade to present the unrealistic (I personally think it is also unattractive) hourglass shape... Well, you get the idea.
Not this sort of Princess...
Merida had a lot going for her. For one thing, she had a wide-eyed fascination for the world. Of even greater importance she was not allowing the world to dictate to her who she was. While that really was a foundation element for her character it also happens to be a big deal for girls that age.
Of course I am speaking only from the slightly less-than-confused position of an observer, but I remember being a fourteen-year-old-boy and I cannot imagine that the process of surviving that stage of life is any easier for girls than it was for boys, right?
Rather than spend her days knitting or cross-stitching (or whatever it was that girls did then) she had a favorite war horse she liked to ride whose name I am pretty sure was Angus, and she had her bow and arrows - after watching the movie a bunch of times and paying close attention to her weapons as only a true SCA Geek will do, I have come to the conclusion that her bow is a composite recurve and maybe just a little on the small size for her height.
A capable girl with the right tools makes for a pretty awesome hero!
In addition to her bow and arrows, Merida had a biodag (it is pronounced beedak) that was around 25cms (or roughly 9 inches) in length, which would have been appropriate for her height. The Biodag is a traditional weapon for the affluent Highlander of which Merida would have been considered, and was often kept in a sheath with one or more smaller knives, attached to a special dirk belt which was called a criosan biodag (pronounced creeshan beedak) - which we actually see in the movie.
When you factor in her bow, her knife, her horse and other pets, her sense of adventure, and a willingness to promote the idea that just because that was not the way that OTHER girls looked at life did not mean that it was wrong for HER to look at life that way, you get the whole package - a great role model for girls.
Then you add in her intelligence and quick grasp for the solution to avoiding the wedding she clearly does not want right now - watch the video above - and you really see the hero in the girl!
Disney Meddles
Due to all of those positive images and qualities, Merida very rapidly became the hero for little girls of a certain age everywhere. Not only that, she became the hero of the parents of little girls of a certain age everywhere.
Obviously we cannot wish for our daughters to be an animated ginger-haired girl princess from some out-of-the-way holding in the mountains of Scotland, but by gosh we can hope that our daughters would have the positive self-image, the adventuresome spirit, and the genuine pure quality of soul that this girl has.
Clearly Merida was not interested in experimenting with the drugs in the medicine cabinet in her parents bathroom. She had no desire to obtain a tramp stamp before age 18, and her idea of a good time involved fresh air, and not a YouTube of a girl enjoying fresh air - hey, it had to be said.
Disney decided it was time for Merida to join the ranks of its other Princesses...
The blokes at Disney are far from stupid, and they quickly realized that in Merida they had found their next Disney Princess. The blokes at Disney are dumb as a bag of hammers.
The reason I say that is that having recognized Merida as the next obvious recruit for the Disney Princess Brigade, which includes luminary princesses celebrated on a site(1) Disney created just to celebrate their other princesses who are drawn from previous epic animated movies, including Ariel (The Little Mermaid), Aurora (Sleeping Beauty), Belle (Beauty and the Beast), Cinderella, Jasmine (Aladdin), Mulan, Pocahontas, Rapunzel, Snow White, and Tiana (The Princess and the Frog), adding Merida to the troop makes a lot of sense.
In fact adding Merida to the Disney Princesses does make sense, it is just how they decided to do it that makes no sense! And therein lies the rub. They recognized in Merida the qualities of a Disney Princess, and then they took her and gave her the required makeover in order to turn her into a Disney Princess.
Basically ALL of the qualities that made her popular in the hearts of the young girls who found in Merida a hero and a role model are the antithesis of the qualities that are found in a Disney Princes!
Look at the following BEFORE and AFTER image and you should pretty much get the idea:
Her first procedure was cosmetic eye surgery to add a more almond-like appearance to her eyes in order to remove the rounder peasant-like eye shape so typical of the Scottish Highlands. After she healed up she next went under the knife to have her cheeks re-shaped, raising the upper ridge of the cheekbones in order to present a more striking and pronounced facial shape. After she healed from that, plastic surgery for her mouth obtained the more desirable bow-shape and a smaller mouth size overall.
Her hair was heavily treated to smooth it out and add curls, and a lapband procedure followed by liposuction to shape her hips and belly more in line with the patented "Disney Princess look" almost completed the package. All that was left was to have her undergo breast augmentation to create a bustline that was more sympathetic to the off-the-shoulder dress, and voila! A Natural Disney Princes! Total cost in surgery and procedures: $190K. Results: Priceless!
A friend of mine who works in a doctor's office reviewed the procedures that must have been done to get her to look this way (read the caption above) and worked out the total cost at something like $190K if she used a Hollywood surgery group with a solid rep. She notes though that if she had the procedures done in Boston it would have only cost around $100K.
Though the miracles of modern cosmetic surgery an innocent wide-eyed hero of a girl who was the star of the film Brave is now a carved and artfully arranged "Hottie" fit to work the pole at the finest of gentleman's clubs. Way to go Disney!
A Princess in the Rough?
In an email recently sent to the editor of the newspaper the Marin Independent Journal, the writer and co-director of the film “Brave” and the woman who helped to create the character of Merida, Brenda Chapman (I personally suspect that her getting an Academy Award for Brave was partly to recognize her help in creating this more realistic and healthy role model that is Merida), had this to say:
“Merida was created to break that mold -- to give young girls a better, stronger role model, a more attainable role model, something of substance, not just a pretty face that waits around for romance …
“They have been handed an opportunity on a silver platter to give their consumers something of more substance and quality -- THAT WILL STILL SELL -- and they have a total disregard for it in the name of their narrow minded view of what will make money.”
I think that we can safely paraphrase that sentiment in another way: Disney, this was a test. You failed.
